How do you express love?
A few days ago I played NGL which I shared on WhatsApp story, and the first question amuses me. Yes, the question I got is the title of my monthly-writing this time. It’s been a while since I gave a thought about this thing, love. Here comes my two cents.
First of all, let’s not talk about love in general. There are many books or documentaries of people talking about that, and we still seek the meaning of it. Even Erich Fromm wrote The Art of Loving and we are still unsure to define love. It is such a ubiquitos thing, which I know not many people truly able to comprehense it.
I observe many of my friends express their love to their loved one(s) or things by various acts. Today they express their love by having a deep talk to each other, the other day by hugging each other after a hard day, a week ago by going through a date for a whole day, a month ago by giving each other present I presumed they like it, some other time they’d free their time to each other. I don’t find it wrong, instead I feel happy that they could express their loves. Back to the question, my interpretation of it would be self-sacrifice.
By saying that, I’m not going to have you count for how many sacrifices you’ve had made to people or things you take care of. Rather than sympathizing with the pain intimates to you, caring for someone means acting for their sake and making things happen. I find it impossible to care for everyone, there isn’t much one human being can do on their own.
Which is why you need to trim off anything unnecessary to it, even if you don’t want to. That is the necessary resolution required to achieve the impossible.
Because you need to make things happen to whoever (or whatever) it is you really care about.
If I were to express my love, I’d look at the situation I’m in and pick what I care about. Then I put everything I have, into what I can do anything about it. You could condemn that I’m cold to have thoughts like these, but don’t go around criticizing me just because I do it consciously.
Loving for whoever it is or whatever it is, doesn’t excludes myself (or yourself) from it. Sometimes I need quietness to contemplate, sometimess I need friends to talk with. This day I have fun brewing coffee for myself, the other day I have a delight conversations accompanying me with the Barista whom made my coffee. Loving is a big thing. And you, yourself, is a lot.
Okay, maybe while reading this up to this paragraph, you have been thinking about the sacrifices you’ve made so far for the people or things you hold dear and now a question pops out of nowhere: was it worth it at all?
Maybe you’ve had your sleep schedule messed up for an extra one-two hours chat with your girlfriend / boyfriend, maybe you’ve spent money from your saving to buy birthday present to your sister, maybe you’ve missed a job call when you are taking care of your parents, maybe you’ve thrown away those debt you borrowed to your friends, maybe you’ve got your heart broken by your crush, maybe you’ve spent the rest of your job’s annual leave just to see your friends after many years passed; but was it?
I don’t know. But after all the times I’ve spent to the people and things I love, I can say it’s not pointless. Sometimes you feel that after all those sacrifices you’ve made, it’s got zero results. Nah, it’s not. Maybe you’ve set your eyes too close on the problems. Take a distance to see it, and you’ll be able to tell that some tragedies are just another comedies. Let’s not weigh love solely on the result, and enjoy how thing just flows on its path.
So, how do you express love?
Laut Natuna Barat, 30 Juli 2022
M. Bayu Bajra
